Reflection and wild dreams

Assalamualaikum :]

These random things just pop up from my mind just now. They are so random that I almost don't have time to comprehend them myself. So, I decided to put them into words. Easier to understand don't you think ?

DREAM BIG people would say. Yeah. I dream so BIG. And I achieve BIG. Alhamdulillah. Sometimes, I didn't get what I want. I tried my best but I didn't succeed. Do you know why? That is because HE have much better plan for me. Alhamdulillah, even I failed, I was given the opportunity to see and understand the HIKMAH and lights behind the darkness :D

" When you try your best but you don't succeed " Fix You - Coldplay

My point here is I always plan. Everything. I plan what to study. I calculated how many days until my next holiday and I plan what to buy and what to do during my semester break. However, my plans don't work out as perfectly as I wanted of course.

" Kita merancang dengan cita-cita kita. ALLAH merancang untuk kita dengan CINTA-NYA :] "  Kak Wani Usrah

Sweet like candy I know. That is why we don't need to be so frustrated if things don't go our way.

"Dan sesungguhnya! kesudahan keadaanmu adalah lebih baik bagimu daripada permulaannya."

   

            

 

                   

And now here I am, planning again or more likely to dreaming again and trying to put them into words. As simple as I could so that people would easily understand. ( as if there's any silent reader in here :p )

yeah *I WANT THIS to become a reality

Okay let me start.

So, since UPSR's result was announced, I dreamed on entering MRSM Kuala Krai. Never crossed my mind about applying to SBP. HAHA I failed to get the offer from MRSM of course. But in turn, I managed to get a letter from STF Johor Bahru. I never saw that coming. I was hoping to get an offer from TKC actually. HIHI I didn't give so much thought on that and just told mama that I want to give it a shot. So, eventually, I love being called a Tun Fatimah's student :D ALLAH knows best right. I seriously enjoyed my teenage-time-spent in all girls' school. HEAVEN GILE.

" If you never try, you'll never know " Fix You - Coldplay

So, off I go from Kelate to JB. I spent my good five years in Johor Bahru :] Alhamdulillah ALLAH always love HIS servants. HE give us what we need. Seriously. What we need. At the right time and the right moment. I pass my SPM with flying colours. Just the way I wanted. Just the way I wanted so that I can make my MAMA and PAPA and family proud of me. So that, all the money and energy they spent on me become worthwhile.

		" فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
	"	So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
		"   إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرً
	"	Verily with every difficulty there is relief.

Betapa ALLAH itu sebaik-baik perancang. I honestly didn't understand at first. Because I didn't see it. After SPM result was announced, all the SPM leavers were busy applying for scholarships and I ended up getting a few offers for the interview. PETRONAS, BANK NEGARA MALAYSIA and KHAZANAH. I didn't apply for MARA. The interview for BNM and PETRONAS were held on the same date :O I chose to go for PETRONAS but I failed to get the sponsorship. Sounds bad right.  But hey, ALLAH is the best planner. HE know what we don't know. 

Surah Al-Baqarah: 216

"...But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not "

ALLAH give me the thing I need and in which I am capable of. I seriously couldn't cope with further mathematics and high expectations from Bank Negara right. Maybe PETRONAS would send me to USA and I won't be doing so good in SAT or ADP. Yeah because I wanted to go to UK so badly.

Surah Al-Baqarah: 284

" Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.Dia mendapat pahala ( daripada kebajikan ) yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat seksa (daripada kejahatan) yang dikerjakannya..."

Despite my failure in getting those private scholarships, I was qualified to get MOE BURSARY and will be doing A Levels in my dreamed college - Taylor's College :D ALHAMDULILLAH. That is the starting point where I realized that I really need to be grateful and stop complaining. See the sunny side in everything. InshaALLAH ALLAH will always help the people in need. HIS beloved servants.

From then on, I never stop hoping, dreaming aiming and achieving !! 

If you fail, it is okay to be sad for a while. Get a grip of yourself. Embrace the failure and get back up. YEAH. GET BACK UP and you just need to work a bit harder than before right.

...and these are my current dreams and aims :

• So, I want to get 4A* in Cambridge A Levels
• Enter Manchester University 
• Finish my  Bsc degree in GEOLOGY and get a Masters also lah in UK
• Get a SHELL/PETRONAS scholarship for degree
• Balik kerja dengan PETRONAS and be rich muehehehe
• Then, apply to work in CANADA
• Go jalan2 at USA while working in CANADA
• Get married with a guy who is cool enough to love me
• Go to Mecca with mama+papa+isya+abe+ah+che+nor+mami+abah
• Own audi sport orange, a house with a swimming pool HAHA

 SO LET US WORK HARD AND ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS :]

AND plus yg dalam previous post :

• Reti main guitar pepel tu
• Own an ipod touch *white colour and pink MACbook
• Reti swimming gaya bebas n gaya katak n gaya kupu2 *bukan yg satu nafas tu je =.='
• Blaja naik kuda *bukan keldai, nanti dia stop utk kencing mcm kat uk pfft
• Own a camera besar and learn photography
• and of course acieving kemanisan iman n kemanisan ukhuwah. G mekkah UK EUROPE lah senang    

Roller coaster post

Salam :D

SO,

This post is kinda private and not so beneficial I supposed but then I'll try to insert some good things alright. *as if there's anyone out there who cares to read HAHA

Seriously, I hate to have such feelings. Do u know what kind of feelings I'm referring? It's like u seriously don't have time to TERcrush to anyone because college life is not the time to enjoy and looking for *teman hidup* ceyhhhh :P as like what I've been repeating before,  PRE-U is the most toughest and crucial stage in our education because if we flunk in our pre-u as for me *A-LEVELS, puffff ur gone. haha  Okay itu over I knnow but more or less like that. Kena start all over again. Ye lah U mana nak terima budak yg fail beb ?

Nadia once told me : We don't need to worry as the right person will come at the right place at the very right moment. :)

Just keep praying. That is all we need to do NOW.  Well, as for me, I would love to do everything and to know everyone in life BUT we just need to prioritize.

Okay, I should be finishing this post as I'm taking too much time here. STUDY xgerak2 lagi. >.<"

Honestly, as I enter college, of course I TERRRR nampak/focus to a few people. hehehe *gatal naa tp I'm not that desperate okay. I still know what is more important to me. Of course study is everything as for now as for me :) but I cannot help. The other curious and skillful in stalking part in me sometimes overtake the nerd me. HAHA What a description huh =.='

Anyways, I secretly told myself that I would really like to be friends with them. There are three of them. If you are close friends of mine, I'm surely u would have some names in your mind because it is not that hard to guess. HAHA Especially if u are with me from high school.  1-A...... 2-B......3-C.........

As time goes by, I get to know A tp masa tu mcm xde la crush sangat, biasa je. But things got complicated after Malaysian Studies and now mcm xde harapan to be friends anymore. HAHA but it's okay. I'm over it. Lantaklah. malas nak layan. And I knew B because of flight things bla3. Eventually, we became a pretty good friends. That's good.  As for C, I really have no idea how to be friends with C because we just knew each other during orientation. Game Tom and Jerry ? haha We're not even classmates so there's no things to deal with and xkan nak g tego2 tiba. "Hai, nak kawan x dgn aku ?" That would be insane. HAHA So, I let it pass. We just angguk to each other if terserempak at kedai uncle level 1. haha That , I would call we're friends. haha

And coincidentally, I needed C's help later after our first acquaintance during orientation week. HAHA and supp I think we become friends now. Now, I am friends with all of them except A, I'm not sure how. Let time do its magic maybe. I have 1.5 more years here anyway. 

My point here is how ALLAH is powerful to *membolak-balikkan hati manusia* .

Sekejap2 I feel like I  like one person, another time I feel like I get over with him and like another person.  But of course, I keep it to myself. haha Because it is not the time yet to find bf/partner ? LOL and I'm not that sure whether this is a true feeling or just main2 and I don't think he likes me back. HAHA buat malu saja dong.

If I were to put it in a simpler way, sekejap2 I like oneD songs and now I'm really into Boys Like Girls. When will WESTLIFE SIMPLE PLAN BSB will show up? Always liking em and never will change. hehe

SOMEDAY. WHEN THE RIGHT TIME COMES.

My point here is I don't want to have any pointless feelings like this. I feel very insecure and  hopeless and sometimes desperate pfft. I need to let it go. Yakin lah when ur ready, ALLAH will give u the things and person (maybe) u need.

I want to do lots of other things and I want to achieve GREAT things too. So, this useless crush feelings and liking shouldn't come across my way. LIKE SERIOUSLY NO!!

Things I wanna do :

• Reti main guitar pepel tu
• Own an ipod touch *white colour and pink MACbook
• Reti swimming gaya bebas n gaya katak n gaya kupu2 *bukan yg satu nafas tu je =.='
• Blaja naik kuda *bukan keldai, nanti dia stop utk kencing mcm kat uk pfft
• Own a camera besar and learn photography
• and of course acieving kemanisan iman n kemanisan ukhuwah. G mekkah UK EUROPE lah senang   

                                                                                                                                 THAT is why I cannot have these kind of feelings. Mengganggu konsentrasi tau x?  Doa lah supaya kita sentiasa fokus and tak ter-off track with all these temptations because 

                  my dreams wouldn't be falling from the STARS.                                                                         

emotional breakdown. haha

Salam :D

I should be studying now but there's too many*much things been playing in my mind. Just wanna let them go. That's why I am here writing this post. I know, it has been a long time since I posted anything. I mean yeah. Apa2 la kan.

SO,

How should I put them.I always wonder or maybe assume that  I will survive A Levels. Yeah. I never think of applying MARA or other scholarship apart from PETRONAS, BANK NEGARA and some private scholars. I wasn't really sure why did I choose to do A Levels at the first place except that I want to go to the UK again. I want to go to 35 Falkland Street again and sit on the bench near the tall Christmas tree around the shopping mall (cant remember the name PJ HUGE??) eating onion bread.

AND,

because of the reasons above, I willingly choose to do A levels that I thought more or less like SPM :D optimistic me eyt. haih mcm mana nak cakap ni. HMMMM. so here I am then. AND now I know A Levels is surely not a piece of cake nor MORE OR LESS LIKE SPM. It is damn hard and it requires tonnes of hard work and effort. I need to have the highest level of self motivation in order to survive in which I think I'm lacking of right now :'( Okay.

Back to business. I keep feeling so down and frustrated because I failed in Math test a few days back and during the two-hour-break, I went to the library and isolated myself in the quite zone. Calling che nor and crying sikittttt  je eh. HAHA After that I felt so much better . I decided to go back late. I took the last bus as I don't wanna meet my housemates because their results GEMPAK GILE la kan. Nanti I  would fall down the hill guling2 lg haha. I just need to have some time alone. *bunyi depressed gile kan haha biasalah in order to get up we all need that little time  utk *berkabung* sekejap. LIKE that 4th of May when I discovered I failed to get petronas. muahaha Yelah and that what if thing. If I went BNM interview interview AND not PETRONAS, would I be called a Bank Negara's scholar now? Tapi ALLAH knows the best. I seriously cannot tanggung FURTHER MATH woooooo. lagi la depressed. MATH pon mcm ni.HAHA lol

I stayback with Nadia and I'm lucky to have a friend so nice like her. She told me that

"It is okay to feel down and sad but don't be for too long :D Get up and be successful, then u'll appreciate ur achievement more as u know how it felt to fail :D " 

-NADIAsyamila-

"Go treat urself with something sweet and expensive :D Beli chocolate mahal2 tu. Beli subway. Cheer urself up. U've bought a purple guitar kan  haha "

-CHEnor- 

Looking back, I know I don't have the rights to complain and feel down. Tengoklah betapa ALLAH itu sayangkan saya. Menyayangi hamba-hambaNya. HE give me PEOPLE who love me more than anything. Such awesome friends. Air to breath, another day to live :D SUBHANALLAH~~  ALLAH uji sikit je baru dah rasa nak putus asa. Remember, be grateful. You are here already. In Taylors after getting straight A+. What more to ask Faraheliena ? :) All u need to do now is get back up and work HARDER okay. Don't ever feel down because ur not alone. ALLAH will always be by ur side :')
Tengok kanak2 dekat GAZA, xde peluang langsung nak g UK, blaja, buat a levels or even to live their LIFE :D Astarghfirullah...

PRAY FOR GAZA 

PRAY FOR GAZA

InshaALLAH doa2 dari org MUKMIN itu akan ALLAH makbulkan. 

AMIN :') 

Another problem err bukanla major problem sangat *biasalah remaja sedang membesar. HORMON EMOSI xstabil mcm roller coaster. Next post eh ^^

BTW BOYS LIKE GIRLS Be Your Everything. Awhhhh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UttOVBD-Rvw